


Exploding Kittens and Other Shuos Shenanigans

by misura



Category: Machineries of Empire Series - Yoon Ha Lee
Genre: Cats, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22573816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: A working relationship in five snapshots, with kittens.
Relationships: Vauhan Mikodez & Zehun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 29
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Exploding Kittens and Other Shuos Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AuroraCloud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraCloud/gifts).



1.

Training their cats would have been easier than training Mikodez, except that Zehun did not believe in teaching cats what they did not wish to learn for themselves.

(Training Mikodez was, alas, a necessity. At least he responded well to treats.)

2.

The rumor that rumors of the Shuos having developped a weapon that looked, acted and purred like a kitten were greatly exaggerated and had no foundation in reality whatsoever spread only slightly more slowly than the pictures of Zehun's newest kitten having its first encounter with a ball of yarn.

On the other hand, while everyone seemed ready to believe a kitten really could be that adorable, depressingly few people seemed willing to believe the Shuos would not stoop to weaponizing such cuteness.

Mikodez could not quite decide whether this was disturbing or flattering.

3.

"It's not that I object to the principle of the thing. It's just that I can't very well put 'almost shot a kitten' in the box where I fill in Reason for Demotion," Mikodez said.

" 'Gross incompetence' should cover it well enough," Zehun said. Of the six kittens they had volunteered to take part of the Let's Test How Secure People's Offices Really Are Around Here, four had returned utterly unharmed, a fact for which Mikodez was profoundly thankful.

They were still negotiating with the accountant who insisted he preferred death over being parted from his newfound soft-pawed, sharp-clawed soulmate, but Mikodez was cautiously optimistic of a satisfactory resolution.

"So if they hadn't missed - " Mikodez started, then thought better of finishing that sentence.

Zehun's expression was serene.

Mikodez sighed and resumed filling in the forms.

4.

Lacing Mikodez's cookies with vitamins and other valuable nutrients proved disappointingly easy as well as cheaper than funding a research team looking into any weaknesses and/or psychological blind spots that might be leveraged to improve his diet.

Zehun donated the money thus saved to an animal shelter.

(Two months later, they felt obliged to dispatch a team to handle accusations of embezzlement by the manager of said shelter, necessitating additional funds, but they felt this was not something they could have foreseen and anyway, the day they were unable to fudge the budget was the day they would retire.)

5.

Give a kitten a ball of yarn and it would be content for at least an hour, if not more. Possibly, it might also turn a perfectly nice office into a deathtrap, but anyone who broke their neck entering Zehun's office clearly had no business getting in in the first place.

A pity, Zehun reflected, the same did not go for Mikodez, who seemed to unable to leave a ball of yarn lying around in his office without at least starting to use it for a knitting project.

(Zehun might have felt happier if any of Mikodez's knitting projects actually got finished, at least. Then again, there were only so many scarves, sweaters and socks they might foist on innocent passers-by.)


End file.
